Losing Memories
by secretsirius
Summary: Time has passed and Angel is back from Hell. But when he is back, what exactly awaits him. After Spike takes Buffy's memories, there is a feud to end all... will it end in death? Will Buffy choose the right one? Will things ever be the same again?
1. Back from hell

ok this is my first fan fiction like this one sadly, but there might be more if your lucky. so r/r anf enjoy, by the way... I don't own an of Buffy the Vampire Slayer!

**Buffy The Vampire Slayer **

Sunnydale, a town that is not so sunny anymore. Overrun by demons and vampires, and other things that the average person would pay no attention too. Although there are select few that do know of them, and are in touch with the 'other' side. There is in fact a group of six people that are there to put those demons, vampires, and such to their miserable deaths, and end their lives which is not as bad a job as it sounds. And there is only one person in Sunnydale who holds the power to defeat those demons, and that is Buffy Summers. Buffy was not always the violent sort, in fact her violent streak did not start until she was first told that she was destined to be vampire slayer. But little did she know, that would decide her fate, love, and future.

Buffy sighed slamming her locker door as she turned. Another day at Sunnydale high, another day trying to keep her cool and not kill all of the 'popular' bunch of people that was always giving her all sorts of problems, and another night of patrolling for demons that had the brain the size of a pea. Ah the everyday fun of Buffy Summers, vampire killing machine, but that is her other life. She began to walk towards the library for her usual meeting with Giles, when she was stopped by someone touching her shoulder. She turned seeing a guy about medium heights around 5'7, and light brown hair that very carefully accented his bright hazel eyes. From her view she could see his chizzed abbes through his loose white shirt. To go with the white shirt he wore light colored khaki pants, and an old pair of red converse all stars. She remembered him from somewhere… maybe chem. Class.

He smiled a sly smile that kind of said 'I can get any girl that I want' you know without actually saying it though. Buffy looked up at him a little surprised and asked, "Do you need something?" Something that surprised her a little more was the slight stammering in the guys tone, as if he were nervous, or scared to talk to her. But he still came out with it, "Erm… my name is Ryan… um Ryan Wilson, your in my chem. Class…" Buffy nodded at the useless information that she pretty much already knew. She quirked an eyebrow, "yeah, is there something you need?" Ryan looked down for a moment then took her hand, "I was wandering if you would like to go out to night… to the club maybe?" Buffy smiled reassuringly, "um… well sure I'd love too." She smiled as she turned and listened to him yell out as she walked away, "I'll pick you up at 7:00..." With that he turned and walked the other way.

Buffy rushed into the library throwing her bag into a chair, and plopping into the chair next to it. She looked up seeing her friends looking at her with expecting eyes. Xander quirked an eyebrow, "Anything new?" Buffy nodded, "Ryan Wilson just asked me out…." Willow sat down beside Buffy and asked in a slightly concerned tone, "Are you sure you're ready for this? I mean it's only been about three months since Angel was killed, and well…" Buffy looked distant for a moment, then smiled one of her fake smiles, "I'm ready Will, I know I am…" She looked up to a disappointed yet satisfied Giles, "Well Buffy, I must say I agree with Willow, I am not sure you are ready, but it is good that you are finding ways to get over Angel for now…" Xander nodded, "Yeah… so be careful Buffy, you know how most of your dates turn out, and I don't know if Ryan would much like to be acquainted with things with fangs, and the face of a gorilla on cocaine…" Buffy gave him a sarcastic sneer to accompany his completely unwelcome comment about Ryan.

Buffy knew all of this of coarse, but she was persistent anyways. She had to get over Angel somehow, and maybe, just maybe this was the way to do it. She needed to try and date other guys, especially after the death of Angel. She didn't want to kill Angel, but she was afraid that if she didn't he would turn bad again, and hurt another one of her friends. She couldn't bare to have that again, not this time around. She opened the door to her new apartment and walked in sighing lightly, "What to wear…" she tossed a few shirts onto her bed along with some mini-skirts, she turned to look at her choices. She ended up picking out a black leather mini-skirt with a black and dark purple tank top, with her usual combat looking boots. She traveled down the stairs and looked out the window of the lobby as she saw a red convertible drive up. She looked through the windshield and saw that it was Ryan. She walked out and stepped into his car, one of her fake smiles and says, "Well… how are you? You know since after school and all…" Ryan smiled and looked at her as he backed out and began to drive off, "I've been very excited… about tonight and all.." The rest of the time was filled with silence, and an odd feeling that someone was watching them, maybe more than one someone, which would make that someones.

After a moment of awkward silence, and thoughts of whether the trees moved as the car moved, they finally arrived at the club. Ryan parked his car and opened the door for Buffy taking her hand and leading her into the club. He smiled at her as they entered, "Well… how would you like to start the night out with a dance?" Buffy nodded lightly, this guy was beginning to grow on her, but he was sill nowhere near to the importance that Angel was in her life. Even after three months of Angel being sent to hell and all it was hard to turn down a dance of any sort. "Of coarse… that would be great." He took her by the hand and spun her around, "Well lets make it worth wile then shall we…"

Meanwhile as she danced with Ryan, a figure lurched in the shadows of the club. It was Angel, no one would expect to see Angel back so soon. And no one would expect that the one time he chose to seek out Buffy, she would be out on a date with someone with as cliché a name as Ryan Wilson. Still he just watched in silence as they danced. He nearly wanted to kill Ryan as Ryan leaned in to kiss Buffy. Oh that turned Angel's clock alright. Angel glared ready to jump out right that instant, but knew that he shouldn't show himself this early in the game. It would be tactless, and that just wasn't Angel's style. Angel was always the type to prolong things, make it more exciting, make things look even more dramatic in the grand scheme of things. Angel had found himself to be exceptionally good at this, although it was during his experience with evil that brought him to that conclusion. After going to hell once, he found out all that he had done to Buffy, and was eager to make everything up to her. When he looked back he couldn't believe all that he had put her through, but in the end he had to face the grim truth of it all. He was being forced to live with a soul, instead of being a natural vampire, and just being evil like the rest of them. But no… he had to fall in love with a slayer, he just had to stay and help her, he had to go and become her lover, then turn on her with no sign.

Buffy backed away from Ryan just in time to miss the kiss, which was much relief to Angel. She looked up to him shaking her head lightly, "I'm sorry Ryan… I just don't think that I am ready for this yet… again…" Ryan sighed and ran a hand through his hair, "Well… gee… I feel really stupid now." (you should…) Buffy turned and walked out into the alley way. She stopped and leaned against the brick wall bringing her knees to her chest and resting her head on her knees. This was rather uncomfy for a girl in a mini-skirt. Who was she kidding, she wasn't over Angel at all, and she was beginning to realize this. She took in a deep breath then let it out trying to prolong her moment of solitude. Just as she looked up she noticed a cloaked figure standing in the doorway of the club, she thought it looked a lot like Angel, but figured that would be impossible, she was probably just seeing things again. Trying to bring the condemned back in her imagination, as if they had never been gone in the first place. She stood and made her way to her apartment, thoughts and memories passing through her mind. Thoughts and memories of Angel, and all that happened. The thing was, each time they passed through her mind, they became more and more unclear.

It is a whole new thing for Buffy trying to get over Angel and all, but it wasn't as if he could come back, I mean it is utterly impossible to come back from hell so quickly anyhow right? It would take a great amount of dark magic to do that, and Buffy as far as she knew, knew no one that had those abilities. But she needed to be on her guard in case, in case Angel really was back, and in case he was vengeful and angry. She didn't know what she would do or how she would react to seeing him again, if she would attempt to tell him why she killed him. That is if she is not speechless at the sight of him. For now she liked the thought of sleeping on it, it wasn't for sure. What she saw could have just been an illusion of the mind, and right now, that is what she hoped it would be.

It would all be happening too quickly for her. She thought back to when she killed Angel, replaying the moment through her mind, as if it were a movie real that just repeated itself all over again, because she was afraid of what happened after. Except certain things were still becoming unclear for her in her memories. She could just picture to vortex to hell behind them as she embraced Angel after seeing he had returned to his normal state, the last kiss before Angel's demise, and the depressed tone she used to say the words 'I love you.' Buffy will never forget that night, unless someone makes her forget it that is, and how lost she was afterwards.

Lost, a mistaken word now a days. It is never used in the right context anymore. In this generation we tend to throw words out like it's no problem, but we don't even think about the way we use them. The average person might say something is lost, but the truth is, the way we use the word, it is almost as if we should say has yet to be found. But in Buffy's situation it's a bit different. Her lost is so much more complicated. In a matter of two days she had managed to get expelled, get kicked out of her own home, and lose the one she loved. After all of that you begin to feel the lost that almost would ensure no return. Buffy has in a matter of three months gained two of those things back, but what is one without love? What is one without something to cherish? What is one with only fond memories, but nothing real to cling to when the memories fade?

Maybe, just maybe lost is just a relative term to Buffy Summers. Maybe lost… does not apply to her, or maybe, she has found a good way to retaliate, and not become a slave to her passions, not become a slave to her depression. Maybe it is the memories that keep her going, the memories that bring her hope. Or is it the hope… that brings her the memories?


	2. An unexpected twist

I have finally finished chapters 2-6 so look forward to th next 5 or so... lol r/r and enjoy

**Buffy The Vampire Slayer **

Buffy awoke to the faint buzz of her alarm clock. She did dread the moments of first waking up in the morning, but something about this morning made her excited almost. Although she still had the feeling of being watched, and she disliked it. She sat up and stretched lightly as she got up from the bed and pulled the covers up to the pillows. As she pulled the covers up she noticed something on the pillow next to her pillow, a piece of paper folded into three parts. She picked it up and unfolded it, questioning who would sneak into her room and leave anything on her pillow. Then she remembered that the last time this happened was when Angel left that drawing, but she would not believe that this was Angel's handy work. Considering the fact that she could barely remember what the drawing looked like anymore. After all he was supposedly in hell. So how could he have left it? Still, as she opened it, she looked at the neat Lucida handwriting that simply said,

'Love forthcoming has brought him here

A wish for the truth that to him was unclear

True love a burden at some times

Can bring forth those from hell at most anytime'

This confused her, she shook her head and decided to put it off and ask Giles about it later. Until then if she didn't hurry, she would be late for school. She quickly threw on a t-shirt and some nice black pants and boots, grabbed her bag and ran out the door as she slipped the paper into her pocket. She ran down the block, up the stairs to the main hallway and into the library as quick as she could. She looked once again at the expectant faces of her friends. Finally after a long silence to where you could only hear the faint buzz of the air conditioner doing its work, Willow stood and broke the thick, and I mean thick ice with, "So how did the date do last night?" Buffy wrinkle her nose thinking that Willow could have chosen a better subject to ask about like 'how's the weather Buffy?' or 'nice day out isn't it Buffy?' but still Buffy answered the question, "Well… it went nice… until I thought I saw Angel…" Xander rolled his eyes. He had never liked Angel from the beginning, and his hate, or should I say dislike with a passion grew even more, as Angel had been evil.

Xander was truthfully glad the guy went to hell, and he was completely enraged at the fact that Buffy didn't seem to be able to get over him too well at all. Buffy didn't share the same view as Xander did, the protective view. All Buffy thought about was her love for Angle, and how she never thought he could turn on them. But Xander thought differently on the subject, and was not afraid to voice it either. Xander wanted Angel gone, because he knew that having any type of vampire around would mean one of them putting their life on the line by being his friend, or in Buffy's case, his lover. Truthfully Xander was afraid of what would happen to Buffy while she was with this mysterious, yet all so sensitive and caring vampire lover boy.

Buffy took the note she had found on her pillow and tossed it to the table, "I found this next to my pillow this morning… I was wondering if you could tell me what it is or what it means Giles." Giles picked up the paper and looked at it closely. Almost as if he were studying it down to the very texture of the paper, as if his eyes were burning holes through it. He gave one of those confused head shakes and looks at Buffy, "This poem is used by gypsies to summon demons from hell… this particular type though is only used for those demons that were lucky enough to have found true love, which is… very uncommon for a demon of this time and era." They all looked at each other a bit confused for a moment then sat in complete shock as Giles continued with, "I recognize this handwriting… it is the exact same handwriting that was used to lure me upstairs after Angel had killed Jennifer…" Of coarse you could expect the room to be speechless after that shocking statement.

During this silence Buffy kept flashing back though her memories to where she found the drawing next to her pillow, the one Angle had drawn of her while she slept soundly. Then to the moment when she had shoved the sword through his stomach and he was reaching out to her, this annoyed her, for his face was becoming unclear now. The look of betrayal that played across his face as he was pulled into the void of hell was blurred out and all she was left with were only the words 'I love you' in her oh so unclear memories. And still she couldn't find a reason why she was beginning to forget some of the things.

Before she had time to think about her reactions she stood, her eyes glaring to the ground as she said in a stressed tone, "No… it couldn't have been Angel… I refuse to believe it…" with that she ran out, and retreated to a nearby tree in the local park. Leaving her friends to sit there in awe, and a lot of wonder. She was going to just sit there and await nightfall to come over her, and wait for Angle to make his appearance.

Angel sat in a shaded building, his eyes closed as he played through his memories. Even though he realized why Buffy had killed him, he wondered why she still killed him after he had turned back to normal. He was brought back for the soul purpose of reuniting with Buffy. If he couldn't do that, he might as well say good bye to Earth, and hello to hell. Part of the true love Gypsy curse, was that if he didn't find his true love within one human year, and obtain her kiss. Then he would eternally be sent back to hell. Angle refused to have that, although he figured that he would give Buffy one more day to recuperate from killing him three months ago. He felt no vengeance towards her at all, he was just confused right now, and didn't know if she would just all of a sudden jump with joy if she were to see him for the first time within the three months that she killed him.

As a small droplet of water fell to the ground and splashed against the stone floor his attention was detoured from his view of the park where Buffy was, to a figure that had arose from the shadows, and came into Angel's view, " 'Ello Angel… I see you made it out of hell without a scratch…" that sentence was spoken in an English accent that seemed so familiar. Then Angel thought for a moment, he only knew one vampire that knew him by name and had a British accent like that, it had to have been Spike. But what was he doing there… of all places. Why was he back in Sunnydale? Although, frightfully unhappy to see him Angel glares, "I see you lost the training wheels…" Angel paused, hoping Spike remembered the time he faked being injured and mostly stayed in a wheel chair, "… why are you here Spike?" Spike grinned maniacally as he looked at Angel the shadows looming over his face, "Well… Dru was killed by a slayer… I figured I'd come claim my other prize… a prize that I can only claim by coming here…" Angel found this hard to believe, and was beginning to wonder who this 'prize' would be after all.

Buffy looked around as the darkness had already fallen over her. It wasn't like her to just go and skip school like that for a whole day, but right now she just needed to be alone with her memories. Mostly to figure out why they were fading. Buffy sighed thinking that Angel might not come. She didn't even know if he was really back, and truthfully part of her didn't want to find out. Buffy had finally devised a plan of a sort, she would sit there until he showed. That sounded good to her at the moment, and if he never showed, for the fact that he hadn't come back, then she would waste away under that tree. Although she had this voice in the back of her mind telling her that this was pointless, and she should not be wasting her time on someone that's most likely burning in hell right about now. She stood just about to leave when she heard a sound come from behind her. She turned to see a guy standing there, but she was unhappy to see who it was.

It is amazing how you get your heart set on one person to show, but your worst nightmare shows instead. That is always the biggest bummer, considering the fact that the one standing in front of her now was one of her sworn enemies, and he had a fire in his eyes. A fire that burned bright bringing out his every intentions, his every movement, and thought could be seen in his eyes. Well not really, it just sounded cool. This guy is really quite unpredictable. And it just wrenched at Buffy knowing she owed him one for saving her from those cops, and helping her with Angel, this is what made her let out a long sigh as she said in an overly stressed tone of voice, "What do you want? Because I am not really in the mood to fight right now… and I'm all out of favors..."

Before Buffy could even finish her sentence she fell to her knees, her head was filling with memories of the night she killed Angel, but all of them unclear, something about them getting blocked out, and she noticed that the most common thing getting blocked out was Angel's face. Her moment of weakness and her enemy is there to take advantage of it. How nice, knowing that he is going to have something to go on about for years to come. Although she was surprised to see that instead of taking advantage of this, he just picked her up and began to walk towards a secluded building. Not saying a word more.


	3. The 'new' Spike

I know so far the whole story might seem a bit cliche... but in the end I have been laughing so hard trying to write it, and I hope you are likeing it... so please r/r and tell me what you think.

**Buffy The Vampire Slayer **

Usually you wouldn't expect for your sworn enemy to help you out, and I think Buffy was having a hard enough time trying to grasp it in her mind, that Spike, her sworn enemy was helping her as of now. Or at least she thought he was helping her. As if somehow over the coarse of three months he miraculously changed, and was no longer evil. Although Buffy couldn't see that happening in a life time, she hoped in the back of her mind that somehow it had, for her own sake. Right now Buffy was in a weak state, having her memories control her, and her life just breaking apart and slowly coming back together one month at a time. Her mind still searching for a reason why her memories were beginning to fade.

It was high time for her to move on, but admit it… if you were in love with Angel as much as her you would have a hard time letting go too. But Spike had his mind set on one thing, and would not stand for Angel to get what he wanted. Spike wanted more than anything for Angel to burn in hell, with eternal torture and suffering and the whole nine yards of pain, well maybe not that much pain. Spike was just there now to take Angel's girl away from him so that he would have to go back to hell, and stay there where he belonged. Buffy looked up to Spike and in a now quite controlled tone said, "What do you want Spike?" Buffy of coarse knew that it was pointless to ask this question, for every time she would ask that to Spike, he would somehow deviate from the original question with a question and statement of his own. Considering he just smirked and said, "Hm… do you really have to ask so many questions? It does make being nice to you so much more complicated…"

Being nice… why was he being nice? What was he planning now?

:Meanwhile:

Angel walked through the darkness into the school, he had hoped that Giles or someone there might know where Buffy was tonight, the last he had seen her was out at the park, but he couldn't come out at that time. Then next thing he knows she is gone, and is nowhere in sight. He pushed open the doors to the library seeing Giles and Willow sitting at the table talking amongst themselves. Angel traveled towards them taking down his cloak and looking at them quietly as he stopped at the table, "Hello Rupert… Willow…" he spoke in a calm tone as if he expected them to know he was back from hell, as if they were supposed to say 'did you have a nice vacation?' or 'Angel! Glad your back!' but I am afraid none of those suggestions are in order. Willow and Giles just stared with quirked eyebrows, finally Willow spoke up, "Um… Hi Angel… um Buffy's not here… right now… in fact we have no… no idea where she is…" Angel smiled his sly innocent smile as he replied calmly, "Oh… well that's too bad…" He didn't exactly sound evil, but he did sound as if he had just come from hell and he couldn't find the woman he came back for., with a hint of irritation.

Angel finally thought to himself, and he cursed himself for letting his guard down. Now he knew Spike had Buffy, and since he didn't know where Spike was, which meant he had a fellow vampire to hunt down and kill within a years time. He looked to them anger flashing in his eyes, wait, not anger vengeance. His hate for Spike was beginning to grow with the white hot intensity of 1000 Arabian suns, and with Angel, that is not a pretty sight, nope not pretty at all. Just as Angel was about to unleash his wrath a note flew through the window of the library into Angel's hands. Angel opened it and read aloud for Giles and Willow to hear,

"I have your love, the one you have missed

And the one I shall take with one simple kiss…"

This was the last straw for Angel. He was not going to let this happen, he didn't even know that Spike could ever rhyme, and he was not going to let Buffy become Spike's new pawn. He crumpled up the note and threw it to the floor, he then looked at Willow and Giles, "Will you help me find her?" Giles and Willow looked to each other then say in unison, "Yes of coarse…"

:Meanwhile:

Spike paced the stone floor as he had his servants tie Buffy up to a chair. He looked at her seeing her angry glare, basically if her eyes were lasers, there would be two holes burned right through his eyes. Buffy is not usually one to be reckoned with , but this was different though. Her life had been changed after what she had done to Angel, she hadn't done too much in the way of vampire slaying or anything, just a few demons here and there, nothing too big. So she was getting a bit rusty, and she didn't want to take too many chances. Especially with her memories fading like this.

After a moment she began to forget some of the things that had happened that night, and it was beginning to make her angry. She had no idea why her memories were fading, but she didn't like it, no she didn't like it at all. Spike stopped and stood next to her smirking lightly as he used one hand to lean against a stone pillar next to the chair that Buffy was tied into. He stroked her hair lightly with the tips of his fingers, "Ah… you look in pain… could it be because your memories are fading, or the fact that you can't stand being around me…" Buffy glared at him, her glare taking no prisoners as she added, "or maybe it's both…"

Spike laughed and began his speech type thing in his sexy English accent, "Well… soon your memories will be mine, as will you dear slayer… as soon as you forget your little friends and Angel that moron of a demon, you will be mine for the taking. You see what I am doing is using a rather old orb to collect your memories, and I am starting with your lover boy Angel…" Buffy's eyes grew wide, as she realized that Spike was trying to make her forget everything except for him. In her eyes this wasn't right, and she wished that Angel could come to her rescue, but what would be the use if she couldn't remember him when he did come, maybe she should just stay with Spike.

:Meanwhile:

Angel, Giles, and Willow were headed out the door, until someone had stood in their path. It was Xander, his eyes were blank, as if he had been possessed. Not that he had been, or had he? A small smirk played across his face as he walked up to Angel and in a smug tone says, "She wont go back to you…" he paused and circled Angel, taking amusement in Angel's concerned look, "after Lord Spike is done with her… she wont even remember you… heh… she is going to be with Spike." This shocked more that just Angel, but Giles and Willow as well. Angel was now curious at this, and he could clearly see that Xander had been bitten, "Tell me Xander… why will she have forgotten me?" Xander laughed, "Because Lord Spike is taking her memories away from her, and that is all she has left of you… so if you don't hurry to the abandoned mansion… it'll be too late." The three that weren't Xander ran off towards the abandoned mansion.

:Meanwhile:

Spike was growing impatient, he figured his little messenger should have made it by now, and the vampire lover boy should be on his way. He turned to Buffy loving the look of pain on her face, he touched her bottom lip lightly with the tip of his thumb, "When you 'rescuer' gets here I shall finally make you mine, an rub it into his face so badly…" By now most of Buffy's memories were gone, and she had nothing to say to this. All she could do now was nod, "Yes… Spike…" Spike laughed lightly to himself and muttered, "I think I shall be getting used to that…"


	4. Forgotten

**Buffy The Vampire Slayer**

For once one of Spike plans was going to work, and there was nothing Angel could do about it. Chances are, Buffy has already forgotten Angel and all of her other little friends too. It took Spike maybe two weeks to come up with the whole plot, although he didn't plan on biting anyone but Buffy, but that sniveling little twerp of a friend of hers had to come snooping around, and ended up becoming a messenger in the long run.

Buffy has been unconscious for at least two hours now, and was beginning to awake. Spike watched her calmly then turned his gaze to the orb that was taking her memories. He sighed, it was taking longer than usual, and he was growing impatient. Finally the orb's dim light went out symbolizing that it was finished. Buffy looked up a questioning look placed upon her face, "Huh?" Spike arose quickly making his way over to her, "Buffy…" Buffy quirked an eyebrow at Spike, her memories had been totally wiped out now, she remembered nothing but her own name and some small details, she questioned him in a confused tone, "Who are you?… and what am I doing here?" Spike laughed lightly at her innocence, "Well… you are my fiancée of a sort… and you're here because we are trying to find a nice place to live m'dear…." Buffy looked confused but still said, "Alright then…" she didn't even get to finish her sentence when Spike kissed her roughly then stood back that sly sinister grin placed upon his lips. He untied her feeling that she is no longer much of a threat anymore.

Buffy looked at him her eyes still questioning as she asked, "Since we are… You know… getting married… then shouldn't I have a ring?" He reassured her gently, "Of coarse the most beautiful ring in the world… shall I get it for you to see?" Buffy vaguely remembered a David's Bridal commercial, all these smiling, happy women kissing their 'happy go lucky' husbands, in beautiful white dresses that looked at if they choked you, and long tails that could most likely trip you if you were to walk too fast. But then looking at the room around her dark, medieval state, she couldn't picture that kind of wedding especially standing next to a 'happy go lucky' version of Spike, she just couldn't picture it, even if he dyed his hair brown. Still she just nodded lightly, "Yes… I want to see it…" Spike walked off into the next room, wondering when wonder boy was going to show.

In her memory less state, Buffy was actually beginning to feel a little affection towards Spike, being the only man or person for that matter that she had seen for the majority of her 'life' and all. It wouldn't be bad at all to spend the rest of her life with him, he was being… nice. Not that she didn't expect him to not be nice, she had no memories of him ever being unpleasant, but she still had an unconscious feeling of surprise.

At that moment the door fell to the ground, revealing none other than Angel, just Angel, no one too special. Buffy blinked surprised at the sudden collapsing of the door, and the revealing of this… person. He looked around and a relieved expression came upon him as he saw Buffy. He rushed forward embracing her protectively, then pulling her into a kiss. Between other smaller kisses on the cheeks and what not, he managed out these words, "Buffy… I am so… glad I found you… and Spike doesn't… have you… and I'm back from hell!… are you glad to see me?…" He pulled away to look at her, and make sure that she was alright and in one piece. Buffy looked him up and down and abruptly screamed. Who was this person that just knocks down her door, and… and she felt violated at best, lets just leave it at that.

After retrieving a suitable ring that he knew would catch Buffy's fancy, Spike peaked out into the next room. Ah, it was Angel at last, Spike mumbled under his breath, "Took him long enough…" He was ready to step into the room with a sarcastic comment in mind, but remembered that Buffy didn't know of that side of him. He instantly took over his role as future husband. He stepped out into the room glaring at Angel, "Who are you?… and… get you hands off my fiancée! An- I mean whoever you are!" He rushed up protectively wrapping his arms around Buffy pulling her out of Angel's arms, turning to where he was between her and Angel. Buffy in her seriously surprised voice said, "Spike… h-he knocked down the door a-and came in a-and kissed me!"

Spike tried his best to look appalled. Thankfully Buffy being shorter than him, and him having Buffy's head pressed to his chest… she was hid from his terrible acting skills. Which weren't too terrible, Buffy couldn't see through it, although she had lost her memories. Ok, enough of Spike's terrible acting skills… onto the other part of the story. Spike gasped, "First he knocks down our door, then he violates you!… My word.. Get out of our house a-and quit looking at my wife in that!"

Angel looked shocked. Wife! How could this happen in the term of four hours! It can't I tell you! Mostly because it didn't… weddings take time and… wait this is Spike, he can do anything in the spur of the moment. Angels actually began to gawk, "No… she can't be your wife!" Buffy felt a bit put out, they were talking about her as if she wasn't even there at all! "Actually I'm his fiancée…" she corrected trying to add her input into this oh so energetic conversation. Angel turned to her, "Y-your agreeing to this!" Buffy nodded vigorously, quite proud of this news, and the shocking effect it had on her unwelcome visitor. She looked up to Spike, "Yes! Show him the ring honey…" Angels jaw almost dropped.

"You called him honey!"

"Yes, what else am I to call him?" a tiny blip of an English accent was evident in her tone, Spike must have really rubbed off on her in these long four hours. Buffy then looked to Spike, "What's your name again?"

Spike smiled gently, tying to keep the act going, "It's Spike dearheart, Spike…" Buffy nodded smiling happily turning back to Angel, "Yes… we're getting married tonight!" Spike looked surprised at that comment and added, "Well… I was going to wait until tomorrow, but seeing as your so excited about it I guess we can do it tonight."

Angel turned his head to the side, not wanting to think about what was happening. He turned back and began to walk out in an angry rage. This was ridiculous, it wasn't fair. It was almost as if Spike was doing this just to spite him, as if Spike knew he had come back for Buffy, and was doing all of this just to make Angle stay in hell. On his way to wherever he was going, he didn't quite know where that was yet, but still he was on his way there. He ran into Willow and Giles, they were talking about how long it had been since Buffy had made an appearance, but Angel walked in on the sentence 'Well… she had to turn up sooner or later… I mean she has to be somewhere in town…' Angel was still feeling quite disgusted with what just happened and stopped, his head facing the ground the early morning shadows covering his face , "Why don't you just ask her 'fiancée'…" With that said he began to walk off, leaving them to ponder his statement. As he went off to find some sort of building to stay the rest of this horrible, terrible, traumatizing night.

Spike turned Buffy towards him grinning lightly, "Well… maybe we should wait till tomorrow love…" Buffy shrugged, "I guess… I only told him that because I wanted him to go… he really creeped me out…" Spike laughed to himself and kissed her, "Come… lets get some sleep until the big night comes." Buffy nods lightly in agreement and takes his hand as he leads to their room. (and for all you perverts out there.. They aren't going to do anything that I wouldn't do… and you don't know me… so ha!) the door closed and the sun was beginning to rise.


	5. the kidnaping

**Buffy The Vampire Slayer **

The sun was high in the sky. Not good weather to have a vampire running about. Yet, you could still see the form of Angel inside an old apartment building through the grimy windows. He'd be sitting on the old tile floor one minute, then jump up and be pacing thoughtfully the next. He seemed restless. He was restless. He had to do something! Buffy was in the clutches of Spike! And he was going to force her to marry him. What was worse: She didn't seem like she wanted to be forced. She had seemed, in fact… excited! What was even worse than that?

She hadn't recognized him. This troubled him greatly. Okay, we don't have to cushion this, this more than troubled him. Come on! Spike was messing with Buffy's head! To get Angel to go back to Hell! That could NOT be forgiven. He had to plan something.

The plate hit the table with a dull thud, the food placed strategically on top of it failing to fall off. Buffy smiled. "I didn't know you could cook, Spike…" Then again, Buffy didn't know a lot of things about her 'future husband' Spike gave a friendly smirk. "I can't, love. But _my _breakfast could." Buffy didn't quite know how to respond to this, so she stuck a forkful of scrambled eggs in her mouth. Of course she knew of Spike's vampire-ness, as Spike had taken great care to set her down and explain carefully all the things she had forgotten in 'the incident' She know had complete trust in him--why would he hide anything from his bride-to-be? Especially after proving his openness to her the other night with all her questions. But still, she had no earthly idea what to say to his comment. She just chewed, grateful for the delicious meal. Spike stood beside her at the great oak table, looking as if it could seat over fifty, watching her eat for a moment. He caught himself and mentally shook his head clear of his… thoughts.

"I'm off." Buffy looked up. "Hmm?" she questioned with a mouth full of fried potatoes. "Just on the other side of the mansion. Don't worry, I won't be long. Scream if you need me." Buffy nodded. Must have been something for the wedding, and even if it weren't something for the wedding, it must have been something very important to him. Buffy finished off her breakfast and retreated into the living room. She sighed lightly as she sat down in a rather comfortable arm chair staring at a rack of pointy objects. The people who used to live here must have been major creeps to keep all of these weapons of mass destruction around… or were they Spikes weapons? She didn't know, and didn't rightfully care at the moment. She seemed rather taken with a photo that she had found on the floor, she picked the photo up and glanced over it. It was of her and that mystery man that violated her, except they looked as if they were happy, like friends almost, and holding hands, behind them was Xander, Willow, and Giles, though these names were escaping her mind at the moment, although they did all looked happy. It was strange, why had Spike never shown her this photo? Maybe the strange guy dropped it or something, but why on earth would he have a picture of her? Maybe he just edited it to make it look like she there, but she really wasn't. She vaguely remembered that people did that all the time on their computers, and what not.

Finally after a whole long gruesome day had gone by, and the sun was setting. Angel finally was finally getting a thought that actually made sense. Maybe Buffy had been bluffing that whole time that they were to be wed that very night, if not then he actually had time to get her back, but how was the question. He noticed that the sun was finally setting, and in a matter of minutes he would be free to roam the streets, and finally go claim his, not Spike's, but his true love. That's it, he would go and claim his true love, he would go steal her back, he would teach Spike a thing or two.

The sun had finally set and darkness set in, and it was time for Angel to carry out his plan. Angel quickly made his way towards the old mansion, this time he would not let his guard down so quickly. He refused to fail at this. He walked through the door, surprisingly it had been fixed, and even more surprisingly it was unlocked. He walked in only to see Buffy contently staring at the weapon rack with glaring eyes. Angel slipped behind her wrapping his arms around her shoulders and whispered into her ear, "Hello lover…" before he could cover her mouth she let out a scream, but Angel quickly covered her mouth and disappeared before Spike could show up and ruin his plot. Buffy struggled a bit, but with her loss of memory, she also had forgotten how to fight, so fighting was automatically checked off the list.

Spike had heard the faint scream and rushed towards the living room, seeing nothing but a wide open door, and a crumpled up photo on the floor in front of the arm chair, he cursed himself. He grabbed his favorite leather jacket and was out on a chase. But first where could he have expected Angel to go? He would find them no matter what, he wasn't going to let Angel steal the girl he… wait he didn't love her. At least he liked to think he didn't love her. Still he was determined to drive a large steak through Angel's heart at this very point. Why this was Spike didn't know, it was an odd feeling for him. Almost as if he… nah… he couldn't be jealous. But then again, Spike had never liked the fact that Angel always got everything that he couldn't have, and it wasn't fair. So why for once, couldn't Spike have something that Angel couldn't have… especially something that use to belong to Angel in the first place.

Angel pushed open the door of his abandoned apartment building, and threw Buffy on his bed. He didn't really have anything in his room but a bed, he didn't even have the pleasure of a chair. Not even an uncomfortable chair. He chained Buffy to the rusted golden railings. He decided to act evil, but maybe not too evil, just in case. He leaned down and whispered softly into her ear, "Look my lover… we finally get to use those chains…" Although he decided not to lead her on too much though. He crawled off and paced around the bed quietly and intently for a moment, then his attention went back to her, his eyes traveling over her confused and scared expression her eyes wide and staring at him with… wait was that fear? Was she afraid of him? This was not his Buffy, it was not the one he fell in love with, but he doesn't know that, so let him have his fun for now. Buffy was tired, irritated, and just a tiny bit terrified, but only just a tiny bit, she finally spoke with a nervous shaking tone, "You s-seen so familiar… b-but I-I can't remember where… e-ever since the i-incident…." Angel perked up at this, but still tried to keep his evil composure, "What do you mean since the incident?… What incident?"

Buffy paused, shifting her emotionally-glazed over gaze from Angel towards the ceiling. "I… don't think I should be telling you." Great. Angel acts just the tiniest bit soft, and she wouldn't talk. He spun around abruptly, his vampire form let loose. "I believe you'll tell me if you value your life…" He growled softly, again leaning down towards Buffy. Again that look of fear flashed over her face. That was so unlike the Buffy he knew he was almost taken aback, but as the 'World's best actor' that went virtually unseen. Buffy began quietly, her words soft and quavering slightly. "Well, Spike said…." She paused, biting her lower lip. It was a long pause, as if Buffy had dropped her train of thought and now had to collect them all over again. Angel resisted the urge to roll his eyes. Great. Anything that starts with 'Spike says' MUST be a good bed-time story. That was sarcasm, just so you know.

"He said I used to be a famous vampire slayer--even though I can't even imagine that now--well, according to him, I fell in love with him, but in an awful turn of events a vampire named Angel killed him and sent him to hell, in place of his own spot, and after that this vampire Angel had tried to erase my memories, but just in time someone had used the gypsies curse for true love to bring Spike back to find me, and once he got my kiss, he would be able to have a second chance at life… so he told of saving me from this…" She paused to take a breath then noticed the ever changing expressions of Angel. At first it was rage almost, but then it slowed to a slight bitterness, almost as if he already knew what would happen next, still although scared to she continued, "… this lunatic vampire Angel person whom isn't really angelic at all…" Angel's expression creased into a further snarl at that. "Yes, well it's useless to say that he didn't like that one bit… and he came up with this intricate plot to kidnap me away from Spike and as the effects of the memory wipe were still there, he planned on… well, brainwashing sounds about right. He'd turn me against Spike and my friends and ultimately kill me when it was all done and Spike was back in hell. Thankfully, though, Spike has been taking excellent care of…." she drifted off, watching quietly as Angel turned away from her, hand gripping the footboard of the bed with a white-knuckled fist. "Wait…." Realization slowly dawned on her. "What's your name…?'

"Erm… well I have many names…"

"Then what can I call you?"

An evil grin spread across Angel's lips as he crawled next to her in the bed and whispered in a soft sexy tone of voice, "You can just call me Master…" Buffy's eyes widened as Angel kissed her roughly then got off of the bed walking towards the window, "Spike will be here soon…" he said in a dim tone, still trying to keep up his evil act. He turned seeing Buffy, noticing that her look was almost disappointed looking as she said in a still shaking tone, "a-and I was just getting used to this place too…" Angel quirked an eyebrow and said in a rather dark tone of voice, "You might start hoping that statement was a sarcastic one… or we can arrange for you to permanently stay here with me…" Buffy's eyes widened a bit more as she shook her head, as if saying it was a sarcastic statement, " I am j-just trying to pass time by Ma-whoever you are…"

Spike was close, he could feel it. He knew it had been almost two hours or a little more than that. He had to hurry before he was out of time, and Angel decided to do something stupid that would keep Spike from getting her back. He prowled to streets, briefly checking the windows of randomly distributed abandoned buildings--Angel's favorite kind. But once deeper into the city, Spike remembered a tell-tale sign to make sure of who was where. Though, he couldn't quite remember if Angel smoked or not. It didn't matter, for the rest of the search went on with looking for dark, un-sunny buildings with piles of cigarette butts laying around inside. Though he went through a number of houses, all in record speed, it was easy to finally identify the one Buffy and Angel were in. Somewhere between entering the old house and whatever room they were in, she had lost her sweater, and the bright green of it was easy to see against the pale tiles. Spike had spotted that blotch of color two blocks away. He bounded up the stairs towards the different apartment rooms. Now which one to stay in… Obviously not the first, second or third floors. If you held someone captive on any of those floors, you couldn't kill them from throwing them out a window. Not high enough. You could probably main them badly… but that's not the point.

Buffy, even though she couldn't tell, was beginning to act a tab bit like herself again. She felt a bit bolder. And after telling 'Master' to shove off after another come-on, she was feeling a bit better about herself. Just a bit. She was still a roughly 18-20 year old skinny blonde chick with no memory of combat skills tied to a bed with an imposingly tall dude insisting that she call him 'Master' standing beside her…. But she still felt a bit better. Her eyes had long since adjusted to the darkness of the room, and she was boredly examining the pale, peeled wallpaper to her immediate left. She crinkled her nose in disgust as a roach scurried silently, almost dangerously close to where her left hand was bound to the rusty gold pole of the bedside. Being so aware of that area of her body, Buffy suddenly realized that her wrist was killer itchy. As if the metal in the chains had some sort of weird allergic reaction. "Hey, Whatever your name is!" She yelled over to Angel, breaking the thick silence. He looked up. "I thought we agreed on 'Master' Little girl…" Buffy stared blankly at him a minute, not daring to roll her eyes, but not scared enough to apologize or anything. "Just unlock my right hand." Angel narrowed his eyes. "Riiiiiight. Sure. And I'll give you my cell phone so you can give Spike a ring, too. Buffy wondered whether to ask him if he actually had a cell phone, or to continue her pursuit of un-itchy-fying her left hand. It was a… hard decision, but she ended up with continuing the pursuit. "Come on! I have an itch." Angel gave her a 'that's what they all say' look. He shook his head. "That's what they all say…" Buffy's hand was now a slight shade of red, almost throbbing with the itch, but unable to be scratched. "Please….?" Angel smirked. Even though he had been moodily contemplating out the window, he still hadn't lost the grip of his evil composure. "Well, if you aren't lying to me then I guess you wouldn't mind if I scratched it for you?" Buffy thought this over a moment. The bed was pushed all the way against the wall, in the corner and with a desk on one side. That left on side open to crawl across the vast reaches of the king-sized mattress to reach her hand, tied there all alone in the corner. She suddenly felt very exposed, just laying there. "No, no…. I'll survive…" She stared at her hand as the room lapsed back into silence. It truly did itch. It didn't take much longer before she gave up trying to ignore it. An itch is an itch, man. "Okay, chop-chop." Angel looked over at her questioningly. "Well? Get over here and scratch me!" Angel just responded with a small, grim smile and a nod. "Yes…. Ma'am." He said the 'Ma'a

m' part so mockingly… all Buffy could do was glare.

"Right. As we all know, kidnappers are required to take certain precautions when meeting the needs of their captives. We've all heard the story of the guard who opened the cage to give the inmate food--the convict slipped right by and pushed the guard in himself. So don't think any worse of me than you already have." With those simple words, Angel crawled up beside her. "So… what needs scratching?" Buffy flatly told him, "Gersh… you sound so eager. It's just my left wrist." Angel smirked. "Your left or mine?" Buffy narrowed her eyes. "Mine." "Right." Angel climbed over top of her, did an odd sort of 'losing-my-balance' deal and ended up straddling her at the waist. He winked, and she blinked up at him. "You do know I'm engaged to be married later, right?" Angel nodded, then leaned forward. Buffy closed her eyes, awaiting any take-advantage-of behavior to follow. She was actually surprised when she felt a small feeling by her left wrist, a hand hard at work trying to reach an itch between the chains.

At this point the door flew open, and there stood Spike. Ready and willing to kill Angel right there, just remember, that this is pretty much a new feeling for Spike, this jealousy thing that is. Spike gaped at what he saw, he never knew Angel had it in him! He was with mixed feelings about whether to congratulate him , or just plain out kill him. But of coarse naturally killing came first. Spike rushed over and pulled Angel off of Buffy throwing him onto the floor. Watching pridefully as Angel rolled on the floor in pain, then he turned back to Buffy tearing the chains loose from the bed and tossing them aside. Buffy sat up and hugged him tightly and with a large amount of enthusiasm she said, "I am so glad you're here… that was the most awful experience!" Angel sat up on the floor smirking while holding his stomach, "Well… it couldn't have been that bad…" Spike pushed her lightly further on the bed as he turned to Angel, his eyes flaring with need for vengeance. The weird thing was, he wasn't acting this time. He almost scared himself when he thought about it when he thought about it, so he just plain out stopped thinking for the time being.

Recklessly Spike lunges towards Angel and ripped a pipe off the wall, and hit Angel across the face with it with enough force to stop a team of rouge elephants… well maybe not that powerful. But still, that one hit did not seem enough for Spike's liking, so he just hit him again. "No… he's not being tortured enough…" then next time he hit Angel a bit harder than the last few. "There… that ought a due him till he wakes with a bloody head ache…" Spike tossed the pipe to the floor and walked calmly back to Buffy, almost as if nothing happened. He took her by the arm and led her out of the room, and back to the abandoned mansion. He was still getting over that jealous feeling that he had earlier, that made him want to kill Angel for taking away _his_ Buffy. Wait… when did Buffy become _his_? He was just getting used to her, that's all… nothing special… it wasn't as if he were falling in love with her again. He swore to himself that he would never do that again, besides it wouldn't really be all that exciting now anyways, right? Considering he controlled her like the puppet she is.

Suddenly a voice could be heard from behind screaming as loud as they possibly could, "Here they are! Buffy!" Spike sighed and thought, 'I knew I should've thrown Angel out that window…' Although when he turned to see who it could possibly be, he was dismayed to see……


	6. Friends

Ah here it is... the 6th chapter... long hours of work went into this story, and I am rather proud of i so I hope you enjoy it and please review.

**Buffy The Vampire Slayer **

Spike put on his newly signature smirk. Even for a smirk, smiling was a new thing for him. He waved weakly. " 'Ello! Lovely Day, isn't it?" The group consisting of Willow, Xander and Giles began to run in their direction. Well, Giles had more of a brisk jog, but nonetheless… Buffy blinked blankly at the group. "Spike… who are they….and why are they screaming my name?" Spike took a step to the right. "Ah, them, well, you see, they're close friends of Angel." He paused, looked down a street, observed what tiny leak of traffic there was, then back at the group still far off but consistently hurrying towards them. His tone was nonchalant, as if he wasn't quite focused on the explanation he was giving to Buffy. He kept moving his eyes from traffic to a shoulder-height brick wall surrounding a house nearby, then back to the group of Buffy's comrades. He seemed to be calculation something. Wow. "Yes. They want to talk to you, but I'm most likely assuming that's because they still are dead-set on filling your head with lies." He paused, then sounding disappointed, "We used to be such good friends all of us…"

The group was no more than two blocks away when Spike whipped his head back to monitor traffic the last time. "Shouldn't we…. Run or…" Buffy was cut off before she could finish as suddenly Spike Ran head-on into a clump of cars moving past. The sound of honking filled the air, and at the last moment he changed his swerve of direction towards a taxi. Buffy was utterly bewildered, watching the cars zoom past as screeching blurs, she was afraid they'd be killed; the irony being how desperately the drivers were trying to avoid hitting them. Spike continued running, Buffy half in his arms, and somehow ended up on the roof of an apartment building. Buffy remained silent, shivering slightly. "Wow." was all she said in complement to their 'escape' Spike continued to run down the different leveled roofs until he was out of sight, darting in direction towards the mansion.

As they approached the mansion Spike sat Buffy down and was going to let her walk the rest of the way there, which was only a couple of steps anyhow, Spike walked ahead of her slamming the door open and walking inside. Buffy followed behind her head tilted at his odd behavior at the moment, and in a soft tone she asked, "Is something wrong dearest?" She went up behind him and placed a hand on his shoulder lightly as he quickly turned drawing her into a warm embrace as he whispered, "You know you're mine… and no two-bit vampire like that could ever take you away from me… right?" Buffy looked up to him and placed a warm hand on his cheek as she kissed him and replied, "Right love…one day we'll kill that Angel person, and that mystery guy that kidnapped me… and you shall get to be the one that spills their blood…"

Spike smirked and just held her in his embrace, he had forgotten how good it felt to hold Buffy in his arms over the years, and was beginning to see what he had given up so many years ago. In fact he actually began to wonder if she would have maybe given him a chance without him having to take away her memories, but he quickly shook those thoughts off. He couldn't have them clouding over his perfectly planned out plan. He let Buffy go and looked down to her his smirk fading as she asked him, "Do you know who it was that had kidnapped me? I should like to know his name…"

Spike shook his head, he knew she still thought that he didn't know the guy, so he just shook his head lightly and said, "No… I don't know of him…" after a slight pause he sighed and stepped back, "just take it easy and don't let your guard down…" It was hard for Spike to be nice to Buffy, considering most of the time before they were enemies, now he had to act like he was her lover, it wasn't an easy job at all. Although the perks were great! He walked off into the next room quietly, as he entered and shut the door behind him. He sat in a red velvety, and rather comfortable arm chair and stared at the ground. He was in quite the dilemma, and he couldn't figure out a single thing to do about it. He couldn't let Angel get to her anymore, for Buffy was beginning to get very curious, especially after seeing her friends. They were a threat too, anyone who could try and potentially return her memories back to her were considered a threat.

Buffy looked around the room curiously, poking some of the objects to make sure they were real. You know how old stuff is… it looks fake, so you break it, then it turns out that it was real and you owe the owner 50 000 dollars for it. Then again maybe that hasn't happened to you, if it hasn't congratulations for staying debt free! But if it has… well shame on you then! Buffy thought of the mysterious guy that kidnapped her and kept wondering who he was, for she certainly was not going to call him Master at all, even if she was the captive.

Angel walked into the library his worried expression back over his evil one. He figured he had played evil long enough, and it was beginning to get tiring. He noticed that Giles ad his face in a book, most likely trying to find out what was wrong with Buffy. Willow was sitting at the table talking to Xander, and Angel had thought he had heard the sentence 'I am so not use to being a vampire…' come from Xander. Angel walked up to the table and took a seat at the end looking to the three, there was silence, mostly always was when Angel was around them when Buffy wasn't, but this time Giles broke the ice instead of Willow saying, "How did it go Angel?… We saw them heading somewhere, but Spike took them away before we could speak to them really…" Angels shook his head and replied in a solemn tone, "It was almost as if she didn't know who I was at all… she claimed to have not even known my name…" Giles tilted his head as Willow butted in, "b-but that's impossible… Buffy loves you… I don't think she would ever forget you." Angel shook his head lightly, "No… she s going to get married to Spike…" This statement was a crowd shocker to the max. That was one of those unexpected statements that gets thrown out in the open, and ends up making everyone, but the one who said it quite speechless.

Giles stood and walked over to Angel, "Well I may know how he did it…" Finally it was Xander's turn to speak out, "No… I don't want to know… personally I think she is better off with Spike…" The other three turned to Xander confusion flashing in all of their eyes, still he continued, "While I was there I saw how Spike treated her… and he treats her way better than lover boy over there…" he gestures to Angel then stands, "I think we should leave things the way they are… maybe Buffy chose to forget Angel for a change…" Xander began to walk out and stopped by Angel's chair, "Maybe she just doesn't love him anymore…" With all of that said Xander walked out of the library, off to foil any plan of Angel's that might entail trying to get Buffy back.

Giles looked at Angel's far off look and said, "Too bad he's wrong…"

"What do you mean?" Angel asked

"Well… about a month ago an orb was stolen from my store… I didn't quite see who stole it though, but it was an orb that absorbs memories."

Angel stopped his explanation, "Yes… Buffy said something of the sort… except she told me what Spike had told her… Spike had twisted my story around to make me seem like the bad guy…" Willow nods lightly, "Well… just try and kidnap her again, and from there we can most likely figure out which spell to use to return her memories…" Angel nodded as Willow continued, "But it might get difficult… what if Spike comes in to get her…" Angel stared at the table, and while staring he said in an almost angry tone, "Then just leave him to me…"

This fight was not going to end without someone dieing at the end, Angel could just smell it in the air. It would either be himself or Spike, and right now, Angel's soul burned for revenge, and wanted to claim its vengeance over Spike. There was one thing you did not want to do to Angel to make him angry, and that is take his girl friend. Oh no, that crime is most likely to get you killed at some point. It is a line that is best not be crossed, and Spike has taken a great step over that line, and he was carrying Buffy with him.


	7. gray line

**Buffy The Vampire Slayer **

Chapter 7 : The gray line

Memories can be defined in many words: Love, mystery, hate, torture, future, present, past, and to some burdensome. But for some, memories is what keeps us going, what keeps us looking forward to the next thrill that might come our way. But is it dangerous to rely on memories? Is it dangerous to grip onto them expecting an easy road ahead. The answer to that is yes, it's very dangerous, as to why, well just ask Buffy Summers, you could end up like her. In the control of someone that is lying to her, diverting things from the way that it should be.

Angel of coarse was planning another kidnapping, but this time he wouldn't do it alone. He had Buffy's friends there helping him. This time Spike would not be able to get Buffy back so easily, and certainly Angel would make sure of it. This was no matter of simplicity for Angel, he didn't want Buffy just because it meant he wouldn't have to go back to hell, he wanted her because he loved her. Which was way more than Spike could ever say. Spike just wanted Buffy so Angel would have to stay in hell. Chances were that Spike would most likely try and kill her after the year had past and Angel was no longer around. Angel decided a long time ago that he would rather go to hell than let Spike have Buffy, and would certainly risk it to get her back.

He stood outside the old mansion once more, although this time eager to succeed. He was ready to kill Spike if he needed too, and maybe even if he didn't need too. As long as Spike is out of his way somehow. Still, he walked up to the door and pushed it open staring into the empty living room ahead of him. He walked in and looked around the room quietly, he then stepped forward noticing a staircase, he stood at the top of the staircase looking down. He had no idea what he would find, if he would find Spike waiting for him with a steak and a sharp comment, and he did consider that the steak was sharp too, he didn't know if he would find Buffy waiting to claw him to death with the finger nails of doom, or if he were to go down there and no one was there except a large array of sharp objects to steal. But naturally being Angel he walked down there, Buffy was sound asleep, and Spike was beside her his arm slipped leisurely over her waist. Of coarse Spike could afford to sleep with her, he didn't have a soul to lose. Angel smirked, maybe he had nothing to lose now, maybe if he did lose his soul he would be better off, better off burning in hell than watching this.

Spike had stretched and sat up a bit after Angel retreated out of the mansion, he had the oddest feeling that someone was watching them, and he didn't like it he mumbled lightly as he looked over to Buffy, much to his surprise was still sleeping soundly, he watched her wondering when he should bring his plan in to a close. He was beginning to think that he would keep Buffy around for a bit longer than a year, instead of just killing her when the year is done. He feared what he had felt for her, that little fling was coming back to haunt him. He had the most beautiful slayer he had ever slept with right beside him, and she believed she was his, but only because he had wiped out most of her memories. He thought back to when he had waited outside her house, just because he thought about he so much. He remembered standing there burning through cigarette after cigarette watching her home, but as soon as he thinks that is over, it starts again, or so he thinks it starts again. He brushed a few strands of hair out of her face as he whispered lightly as to not wake her, "Sleep well pet, for we have a long night coming up…"

Angel shook his head, he figure Spike might carry the rest of his plan out the following night, but until then Angel just wanted to think. He couldn't help but think about what would happen if he tried to tell Buffy that all Spike had told her was a lie. It would be like telling a dog he's a cat, it wouldn't work. According to Angel you can take the girl away, but she will always find a way back to the one she belongs with. The sad thing was, she was making no attempt to get away from Spike, no attempt what so ever. It bugged him that Spike was getting exactly what he wanted. Would it be so bad that for once the irritable English vampire doesn't get exactly what he wants? According to Angel, Spike should just crawl into a tiny hole and live there for the rest of his life, but unfortunately things weren't that simple.

On the other hand, not all English vampires get to have all the fun, in Spike's case they get a chip shoved into their head and end up not being able to hurt any good humans. That was just horrible, considering most of the innocent ones are the ones that has the rich blood, but we'll get in that on another day. Spike sighed, he got out of the bed and stood at the foot of the bed, he picked up his shirt fro the floor and buttoned it on. It would be hours before he could got back upstairs where the light shown in. He lay back down next to Buffy staring at the ceiling, he was beginning to contemplate when exactly to bring the plan to a halt. He wanted more than anything to watch Angel and Buffy's little friends to sit in shock as they watched Spike claim Buffy. His thoughts then traveled away from all of that to just Buffy. He thought about how easy it was to manipulate the human mind, and how fragile it is.

The human mind is made up of memories, dreams, and emotions. When one of these three are taken away you are left with an imbalance of the other two. Sometimes when you lose one, it is hard to tell, and you never know until it comes back at you kicks you in the rear. Although for some, they lose one, and replace it with lies. Maybe it is better that if that happens, just to live that way. To live being controlled by lies, being controlled by an irritated English vampire.


	8. The keeper of memories

It is amazing how fast this story is evolving, and I just can't wait till is it finished, until then... thanks to my reviewer for keeping this story in line!

oh an Disclaimer... Joss Whedon owns Buffy... but we all shall see the day when i steal it from him! -does evil laugh- -cough- ok maybe not... but it was worth a try.

**Buffy The Vampire Slayer **

If you are looking for a deeper meaning behind love I have one suggestion, don't. Love is an awkward thing, and not many get to experience it truly. If you are one of the unlucky few who think they are in love, but you have just yet to see that your only digging an early grave. Many have come to find that true love brings death, but when is love true? Well, lets just say that our world has grown quite fond of the kind of love that is so strongly and sturdily built on lies, and deceit.

Angel paced around the dark apartment room, the shades were pulled and it was mid day. He was growing worrisome, he had yet to come up with a really good plan, and time was running out. It was certainly time to get started with that. Kidnapping didn't work very well, but maybe he should try wrecking the wedding, he should love to go on a Spike killing frenzy. Although that really wasn't his style at all. Angel has always been the subtle, kind of 'I'm gonna sneak up on you' kind of guy, that like to torture you until he is ready to kill you. But sometimes it doesn't work that way, he could just attack head on, but like I said, it's not his style.

Spike lit a cigarette as he watched Buffy stretch awake, during the day today he needed to get her trained. He hated waking up before 7:00 pm, but still, if anything were to happen to Buffy. He needed for her to be able to protect herself. Buffy sat up and got off the bed yawning lightly as she got dressed into her training clothes. She walked up to Spike and pulled the cigarette out of his mouth and kissing him lightly. She then put it back in his mouth as he took her by the arm and led her into the next room. He pushed open the door revealing a rather dark room containing a punching bag, some choice weapons, and more importantly an ash tray. He leaned against the wall as he watched Buffy stretch, "When your ready luv…" Buffy nodded to him lightly as she stood finished with her stretching.

Willow sat across from Giles at a table in the library. Both of them had had a rather eventful week, first Angel comes back from hell. That wasn't that bad, but it was pretty shocking to see him back. Two, Xander has been turned into a vampire, that isn't bad except for the fact that he can't really go to school now, and he has to have Willow bring him the work. Like he does it anyways, well he might as well at least strive to keep up his Ds. But most importantly the third one, Buffy has somehow gotten her memories erased, and thinks that she is engaged to Spike. That one is the bad one, that is the situation that they seem to have a problem with. Not that the others weren't border lining bad, but the last was the worst. Thy had no idea so far how to get Buffy her memories back without killing her, and they most certainly didn't want to do that. They could see that this was a complicated matter, and it needed to be solved.

Willow stood going to search out another book, and said to Giles as she searched the shelf, "You know it might help if you knew the name of the orb thingy that was stolen… I mean it is hard to look for something that you don't know the name of, and…" Giles just nodded, he knew the drill, if Willow get on a rant just cut her off and make your point. So he replied with, "That is true, but we do have to keep searching, I am afraid I do not know the name, and if we stop searching we could lose it… now bring me another book." Willow picked out two more books and walked back over to the table. The table was covered with books and papers mostly all the time, and never had they seen anything about this orb yet. Until Willow turns her book open and sees a picture of an orb, beside the orb was written in some sort of foreign writing, 'the keeper of the memories' and under that in the same writing, 'warning to those who use, let not the soul get confused'

They were guessing that meant that they can't tell Buffy the truth, and confuse her even more or something bad might happen. Although they were disappointed to find that it didn't say what would happen. They were also quite disturbed that the book didn't tell how to restore the memories, but then again how could they have expected it. Giles looked at Willow, "Go tell Angel about the orb, I'll stay here and look for more information on how to get the memories back to her." Willow nodded and rushed out. Normally she would have disagreed about going off the school premises during school hours, but when your best friend is fixing to marry a vampire, or the one she shouldn't be with, you make a few excuses to get out of school.

Angel paced through the darkness impatiently, he was about to get tired of waiting for them to find information, and he was tired of waiting to tell Buffy the truth. His anger was by far getting the best of him, but he promised himself that he wouldn't get out of control. He took in a deep breath s knocking came at the apartment door. He cautiously opened the door seeing Willow standing there. She invited herself in of coarse and sat on his bed, or possibly the only whole sturdy bed in the whole apartment building. Angel looked at her with a quirked eyebrow as he ask inquisitively, "What is it?… do you have any information?" Willow looked down then looked back up to him, she wasn't smiling which was either a bad thing, or a really bad thing. Angel could only hope that it wasn't really bad as he sat next to her as she said, "We found the name… and a warning… the name is the keeper of memories, and the warning was that we shouldn't tell it's victims the truth…" Angel shook his head and looked at the ground, "Are you sure that there is no more?" Willow nodded lightly, "Yeah… Giles is still looking to find out how to get the memories back…" Angel sighed, this was no the news he had hoped to hear, but it was all he had to go off of for now.

Spike grinned as he watched Buffy punch the living crap out of his punching bag. A sight it was, she may have lost her memories, but she hadn't lost any of her strength. He quirked an eyebrow as Buffy punched a hole into his punching bag, and he thought, 'great.. Now I have to replace it…' Buffy walked over to him picking up a towel from the floor and wiping her face of all the sweat from her workout. He kissed her thinking about how great it would be, if Angelus decided to crash their wedding and dear ole Buffy got to tear him limb from limb. And of coarse all he had to do now, was send out the invitations. He figured that it would be a very nice wedding.


	9. The invitations

Ah here we go finally ch 9... this story has really been a blast, and I just hope that all of you like it so far. Please tell me what you think, for I think the story may be comming to an end soon.

**Buffy The Vampire Slayer **

Tonight would be a glorious night for Spike, he would finally get to lay his claim over Buffy right in front of lover boy. Although Spike was having some doubts to whether he could kill Buffy when it was all done. He feared that his plan could be foiled by… love? Nah.. Couldn't be, after all, he's only been sleeping with Buffy every night of the week, kissed her numerous times, and what kind of vampire would he be if there was no rubbing it in Angel's face. He had done everything that could possibly prove he might even the slightest bit loved her.

Spike sighed as he sat at a table in the dining room writing out the invitations, and as he wrote he was mumbling things such as, 'they had better come if I have to hand write these…' and '… what kind of a world is it when a printing shop is open past sunset.' He finally finished the last one after an hour of slaving away at these invitations. He folded them all, and looked around for a good way to get them to the people. He then notice that the sun had set, and he could just deliver them himself, and maybe Buffy should be with him, "Buffy luv! Come… let us take these invitation things!" Buffy ran into the room grabbing her coat and slipping it on as they walked out the door together.

Angel was just about to walk out of his apartment when his door was pushed open revealing none other than Spike and Buffy. Spike walked up motioning for Buffy to stay behind, "Don't you just feel good that you were invited to the ceremony?" Angel glared, deciding to let it seem that he were still him evil self, trying to keep this up in front of Spike would prove to be hard though. Still Angel stood his ground saying in a matter of fact tone, "No Spike… I just feel graced by your presence right now, how could I miss the ceremony?" Spike grinned at the sarcasm that dripped off that statement and he handed Angel the invitation as he said, "Good to know that you can still make a good joke now and then…" Angel's glare got a little more severe as he said, "One day I'll kill you Spike…" Spike turned with a laugh taking Buffy by the arm by linking his with hers and said as they began to walk away, "There you go with those jokes again… Hm… we'll have to fix that sooner or later…"

Angel opened the paper reading in fine print,

'Angelus

You shall come and witness this thing

In which your love will be gone

Just to cause you utmost pain…

And when you come to witness your loss

You will realize exactly

What having a soul does cost'

Angel crumpled the note up and threw it to the floor, he wouldn't have this, he wouldn't have this happening. He was going to kill Spike for this, and he couldn't even believe he thought about sparing Spike now. He may have been his sire, he may have been his yoda, but as far as Angel was concerned, and has voiced before, things change. And now Spike and Buffy were now headed to the next destination, Giles's house.

Giles sat in his arm chair reading a book, still searching for more information on the keeper of memories, but so far he was having no luck. It turns out that very few demons, or vampires in this case, have ever used the orb, considering the fact that the book said that there was only one left in the world that hasn't been broken. Giles looked up from his book as he heard a knock come at his door. He got up wondering who would bother him at this time of night, unless it were Willow, or Xander. He opened the door seeing spike and Buffy, he stepped back in shock looking at the two of them arm in arm and asked in a shaking voice, "What do you want Spike?" he looked past Spike to Buffy glad to see hat she was ok, and unharmed. Spike held out his invitation with a light smirk placed upon his face, "We simply wish for you to come to the ceremony…" Spike felt no need to get into a whole conversation like he did with Angel, so they turned and made a quick exit before they got bombarded with questions from Mr. Emotional himself. Giles opened it and read,

'you should be bloody well glad you were invited…'

Giles could most definitely tell that Spike was the writer of this invitation, he could also tell that he was almost not invited at all. What a shame that is.

It was time for them to make their next visit, and that was to Willow. Willow was in her room doing her homework, she decided that it was a bit stuff in her small room and had decided to open a window. She then lay back down on her bead taking a deep breath. Just as she was getting ready to delve back into calculus a note flew through her window and landed right beside her. Willow picked it up and read aloud,

'Witness history in the making

P.s. wear that fuzzy pink number'

Willow knew with the last statement that it was Spike that had wrote the message, and she figure if angel had told them the truth, that history in the making meant the wedding.

Next up was Xander, although Xander some how doesn't get an invitation. How? Well… as Spike looked at Xander's invitation and quirked an eyebrow thinking that maybe there shouldn't be too many people there. Plus Spike figured the others might tell him about it, and he would go anyhow, that's how he saw it. Spike crumpled the invitation up and threw it in the gutter as he and Buffy were returning to their not so humble abode.

The was Spike saw it was the less… the more dramatic. It would be dramatic enough with angel there to beat witness. So according to Spike, one more person made no difference at all. It wasn't as if Buffy would live after Angel goes to hell anyways. All Spike had to do was kill her. The question is, can he do it? Can he kill the girl he has possibly fallen in love with?


	10. The signal

Finally! I have updated... I was wondering when I would reach ch.10, but I don't think I could have made it with out my reviewer! Thanks for keeping me on track!

Disclaimer: Sadly I still do not own any of Buffy the vampire slayer...

**Buffy The Vampire Slayer **

It was almost time, almost time for Spike to get all his 'splendid glory' along with a 'life changing,' well maybe not 'life changing' experience with toying with a girls memories. Which in the end will get you nothing but every square inch of your butt kicked. Of coarse it isn't faire to take someone's memories, but who ever said that Spike was fair? Spike just figure that he would make quick work of it, and just dispose of the slayer when he was done. But spike did more than just toy with memories, he toyed with love. And love is not something that you want to toy with.

Spike and Buffy walked down the street, the only light shining on them being the dim light of the street lights. Spike grinned as he heard music playing from a car as it drove by, the words being: I just died in your arms tonight, must have been something you said, I just died in your arms tonight, it must have been some kind of chance, I should have walked away. But Spike wasn't one to listen to song lyrics that might be telling him something. They continued down the street as Spike spoke softly, "Well, all we have to do is wait now pet…" Buffy looked up to him a faint smile placed upon her lips, "I'm so excited… will it be grand?" Spike held her close, "Oh yes, very grand… it'll surprise them all."

Angel paced across his apartment floor, something he had been doing a lot of lately. He stopped for a moment noticing the lack of date and time and location on the invitation. This made him curious, he hated not knowing what Spike was up to. Considering Spike was most likely always planning something. Angel picked up the invitation and headed straight for Giles's house, if he couldn't figure out anything, he figured Giles could. As he reached Giles's door it flew open and a shocked Giles stood in front of him. Giles took a step back, "Angel… I was fixing to go find you…" Angel showed Giles the invitation and Giles nodded, "Yes… I got one also I'm afraid…" Angel looked up to Giles as he said in a worried tone, "Rupert… there's no time… or location…" Giles nodded lightly.

"Yes I have noticed that…"

"I think there is a plan behind it…"

"Yes exactly as I was thinking."

Angel looked down in thought as Giles spoke up for once, "Maybe he wants us all together…" he paused, "you know… maybe he's going to signal when it will be and where…" Angel nodded in agreement as he looked up, "Maybe we should go find the others that got invitations…" Giles grabbed his coat and stepped out, "Yes… Willow and Xander then…" With that they rushed down the street, headed towards the unknown. Actually they were headed towards Willow's house.

Xander knocked on Willow's window from the tree outside her window. I don't know what it is with vampires and climbing trees, maybe they just think it is more exciting, or maybe they just don't like to use the front door at all. We shall never know really, but anyways… Willow pushed her window open and gave Xander a sideways glance as he climbed in through the window. "Xander.. I-I wasn't expecting… you know… um… you" Xander quirked an eyebrow as he sat on her bed, "Giles and Angel are heading this way… saw them down the road" Just as that was said the doorbell rang. Willow rushed downstairs and opened the door to Giles and Angel. "Finally…" she said, "people who use the door." Giles and Angel each quirked an eyebrow at her, she stepped back as Xander came down. Giles looked at them as he said in his matter-of-fact tone of voice, "I think we should be ready at any moment to expect some sort of signal from Spike…"

It was rounding in to be around midnight now, and spike was getting ready to release the signal to them. He figured that they would be smart enough to figure out the signal. It was very simple, even Buffy could get it with her nearly failing high school knowledge, but then again she hasn't exactly gone for the last few days. Still the signal was well thought up, and very highly and extravagantly planned. But still Spike had his doubts about sending out this signal. Truly, who wants to find a tombstone on their front door step revealing the time and locations of a wedding. Not many people are too keen with the idea of the wedding right now.

Spike watched one of those spiffy digital clocks turn to 12:10, and figured that they should be getting it at any moment now. At any moment his plan would come into full extension. Buffy came out of an alley wearing a long, flowing crimson gown. Spike turned to her fashioning a smile, "'Ello luv.." he thought his eyes were mistaking him, but he thought she looked beautiful. Or at least beautiful enough to make Spike lust after her. Actually that doesn't take much if you just look at some of his past girls, and you'll see what I mean by that of coarse.

Giles and Angel made themselves comfy on Willow's couch as they watched Willow and Xander pace in front of them. A loud thump came from outside of the door, and they looked at each other, each questioning what the sound was. They opened the door and were completely, utterly, totally, absolutely shocked at what they saw. It was a sullen gray tombstone laying across the welcome mat. They looked at it, for a moment they couldn't believe it, they were almost scared to read what was on it, in fact the almost turned back, but they also knew that Buffy was on the line here. They knew that they couldn't risk it, but they left their fears behind as they sucked it up and they saw that it read,

'Location: Sunnydale cemetery

Time: Now'


	11. Returned

Ok thankfully I have made it this far, an I have not died of writers block or carpal tunnel, or some odd thing like that. Again I would like to thank all those that support my story.

Pam (especially Pam)  
connor  
Yummy

all of you I thank for helping me along the way.

Disclaimer: I still don't own any of Buffy the vampire slayer. sadly.

**Buffy The Vampire Slayer **

"It is time, luv…" Spike smiled lightly, "It is time to make history ours." Her turned to Buffy as she looked up to him, her questioning eyes glowing brightly as she said, "yes.." Spike drew her close and turned into his vampire self, he bent down. Just as he was fixing to bite into her a voice came forth from the darkness, "You'll never have her completely Spike…" This startled Spike and he looked up, scanning the darkness, looking for some hint of who it was. Recognizing voices definitely was not his forte. Angel stepped out of the darkness a grin placed upon his lips. This wasn't the regular Angel. No. it was Angelus. He took a step forward as he continued, "She is a different type of slayer… she wont be defeated just by a fake marriage…" Spike turned to look at Angelus saying nothing, considering his glare said it all as Angelus kept on, "She is the kind of slayer you have to love in order to be able to kill…" Buffy shot both of them confused glances, she stepped back and in a shaken voice, "W-who are you really? What do you want from me? I mean is it so hard just for you to let me get married in peace?" Angelus gave her a glance as he walked next to her, turning her towards him, "I am Angelus… and you are my bride…" he turned into his vampire self and leaned down towards Buffy's neck. Spike interrupted with a swift kick to Angelus's side, making him miss Buffy's neck and fall forward.

Angelus turned towards Spike as Spike said, "Well… maybe I do love her, and I maybe I am not going to kill her…" That made angelus laugh, Angelus knew that spike could not have been telling the truth. The demon within told him that, Angel had now thought he had caught onto Spike's plan. Big emphasis on thought. Angelus circled Spike pushing Buffy away to where she fell to the ground. As she fell to the ground Giles and Xander peeked out grabbing her by the arms, the knocked out Buffy of coarse could not struggle to get away, giving them the right away in carrying her off.

Angelus punched Spike making him fall back, yet Spike stood back up straight rubbing his jaw, "ow, that actually hurt! I'll make you pay for that!" He rushed towards Angel and punched him in the stomach making him jump back a few steps. And said in his evil tone, "Spike, maybe we can work together… to kill the slayer…" Spike shook his head, "Maybe I don't want to kill her…" Angelus grinned, "T'would be a shame Spike… t'would be a shame…"

Giles and Xander carried her to the library to a waiting Willow. So far their plan was working, they were going to watch it unfold right in front of them. They laid her on the table, as Willow examined her, "So I suppose we are doing the right thing… I mean with the memory spell and all…" Giles and Xander gave her a sideways glance, almost as if they couldn't believe that she knew what she was saying. Though Willow saw their looks, and knew that their expressions explained it all, she nodded lightly, "ok then…" she pulled out her scented candles and incense, she chanted a few choice words and watched as Buffy awoke. Buffy sat up and looked around bringing her hand to her head. She quirked and eyebrow and looked at Willow, Xander, and Giles. Willow took in a sharp breath, "Buffy…"

Spike looked around for Buffy, he had not even noticed her gone. He ran around Angel then turned back, "Where is she!" Angelus laughed, "her friends got her… they are going to perform a memory spell on her…" Spike eyes grew wide as he made his way to the library, angelus following behind him. Spike threw open the doors seeing Buffy on the table, "Buffy… Buffy w-" Buffy cut him off quickly, "Spike… you lied to me…" she had no idea what she would be able to do about this though, she felt deceived, but though she could remember all that happened at that time, part of her wanted to keep living that way, but part of her kept telling her that she still loved Angel. She was beginning to feel torn apart by this, which should she choose?

Angel came in shortly behind Spike, he walked over to Buffy quickly, "Buffy… is this the real you? Do you remember me again?" Angel was almost ecstatic at her being back, he didn't think that during the time Buffy was with Spike, that the real Buffy could have been harboring feelings for Spike all along. Still, Angel hugged her, although Buffy made no attempt to hug back. She was still quite confused by this, she looked to a clock noticing that is was about 3:00 in the morning. She stood up and looked around the room, Spike seemed to have slipped out while Angel was hugging Buffy. Willow looked at Buffy, "Are you sure you are ok?… I mean it could ha-" Buffy cut her off, " I am fine…" she turned to them a look of stress playing across her face as she stood, "It has been a couple of days, and there are probably some demons out there who need their butts kicked…" With that said she walked out of the room. She had all of them confused, they had no idea what could have went wrong, that is if anything did go wrong.

Spike walked towards his old mansion through the darkness. He kept playing through his mind that he lost Buffy. He had actually began to fall in love with her, and he loses her. Then again it was like Angel to want to take every girl spike got close to. He sighed and pushed the door open walking into the darkness of the mansion, and traveled down stairs. He lay on the bed, the bed where he had slept with Buffy, not SLEPT with her, but slept with her. He sighed staring at the ceiling until he had finally fell asleep. He was beginning to miss the company of Buffy.

Buffy walked through the cemetery, she had to think about this. It was stressing her out, and she figured out that what better way to relieve stress than to take it out on unexpecting demons sulking around the cemetery. She sighed and sat next to a tombstone looking to the ground, how could she tell Angel that she had feelings for Spike? Better yet, how could she tell Spike she had feelings for Spike? This just confused her more than anything, then she smirked and stood. She knew just who to take all her confusion out on. She grinned as she walked out of the cemetery.


	12. Ownership

Ok. For this chapter I give a very VERY big thanks to flying condor of midnight star, clan of the ostrich, and lineage of the bee for helping me write this chapter. I kind of got myself in a bine, but thanks to her I am free! In other words... she stole my laptop.

Disclaimer: I do not own any of Buffy or her friends... I can only wish.dream.hope.

**Buffy The Vampire Slayer **

For a split moment Buffy had Spike pinned to the floor, an angry, almost satisfied smirk on her face. Spike's face hid all traces of any emotion; all was a mask of game-faces ready for battle. He shifted weight and control to the point of rolling over, where Buffy moved to try to stop him from getting away. Spike instead changed motives and kicked upwards into Buffy's stomach. She fell and rolled to the side, taking care not to let Spike see that it actually knocked some wind out of her. But before she could jump back up, Spike had mirrored her previous position, pinning her to the ground. "Slayer…." He paused, as if thinking over what to say. Instead of a thought-provoking, well-planned sentence structure, as that lapse of time might have allowed, he came out with a "Get out of my house." Again with the rolling over and tackling of confusing moves that are hard to describe without repeating descriptions. Anyway, Buffy ended up back overtop of him. "Make me. Has it even occurred to you that I deserve to be here? Beating every square inch of your…." she paused half a beat, barely noticeable. "..body" Spike blinked. "It occurs to me that you are just here beating the crap out of me, because you could find no pleasure in sulking and pouting and what not… just the very memory of us shagging… it stings doesn't it? It just depresses you so much, and you can't be like any normal person and wallow in your self pity!"

At that point, Spike was slapped. Repeatedly. In an awkward pause that stretched on to a silence, Buffy stood, doing a rather stupid thing that Giles certainly never taught her to do. She turned her back on the vampire. She turned her gaze on something in the far corner, it looked nothing like Spike so as to keep her thoughts on track. Though, the track was barely visible, she didn't even know what the track was all about… or if it even had a point of destination. Things had started out so good. She had spent the first part of her 'visit' beating down Spike--it had felt so rewarding. She felt like she was getting somewhere by doing it, she had felt good. But now the feeling was gone. It had died the moment conversation had started. It was replaced again by a dull confusion.

Spike scrambled to his feet, brushing off both visible and invisible dirt spots. He cocked his head to the back of Buffy's head. "Well? You came here to fight me. What are you waiting for?" Without turning, Buffy responded in a most quiet voice; "It was stupid." Spike blinked again. It was what most living being with eyes had to do in order to keep them hydrated so they wouldn't shrivel up and fall out. Except snakes. The tricky buggers. "What?" Buffy turned a ferocious glare, advancing towards him. "You are so stupid! Stupid, stupid!" For some reason she could feel her anger rising inside her, she took another step towards him trying to prolong the moment, but then said in her overly stressed tone, "If only you hadn't sent out those stupid invitations…" she paused and drew a sharp breath, "you could have had me you know?" She had stopped to think of what she had said, and cursed under her breath as she took another step back. She then looked up at him with a glare, "I mean… You always rush into things. You never plan them through and it just annoys me to know my opponent isn't giving me his possible best. To send out those invitations and just stand there waiting for them to take me--bad form, Spike. You make it seem like you want them to foil your plans." Spike smirked broadly, letting the insults roll off his back. "You make it seem like you never wanted them to take you away in the first place. Well, well, well, Pet. It seems like someone had a turnaround." Buffy returned the smirk, following form of letting comments slide by.

"No. I just hate to feel like anyone's letting me.. lose!" On that last syllable Buffy jumped on her left foot and at the same time bringing her right up into his gut. Spike stumbled back a couple of steps before regaining his balance and throwing a punch at her landing it on her right shoulder. "Oh, I am not letting you lose pet, I think you're letting me win!" with that Buffy grimaced as she lashed back at him with a violent punch to the jaw, "No.2… I am just warming up…" Her smirk stayed upon her lips as she pinned him to the cold stone wall and leaned over to him her face only inches away from his, "How does it feel to be the loser? You lose me… then you lose the fight… what else do you want to lose while you're at it?" Spike looked at her still smirking, he made no attempt to free himself as he calmly said, "Well pet, they way I see it… I haven't lost you… or this fight, and I certainly do not plan to lose either of the two…" He smirked as Buffy looked awed by this, well… somewhat awed by this anyways. She still didn't let him go, she just held him there, pinned to the stone wall, with no way to figure what exactly could happen there at that exact time.

Angel silently watches from the shadows, he wanted to know why she had stopped beating the living crap of him. He desperately wanted to see her kill Spike, he thought that Spike did not deserve to live because of what he had done to Buffy. Angel had all this time been silently thinking, 'at least they aren't kissing' he wondered why Buffy come here anyways? She did seem a bit angry when she saw that Spike had pulled that disappearing act and all. Angel looked out and saw that it was nearing sunrise, he could smell it. He had decided to leave and reach his place before he ended up having to stay there all day. He turned his back to them and walked away.

"So slayer, what now?" Spike was still smirking, and Buffy was finding that very annoying. VERY. "Going to finish beating me up? Just because you don't want to feel like I'm going easy on you but you'll still feel deceived in the long run? Or are you going to suddenly give into the lusts that you know burn with a passion for me deep inside of you? A little kissie-kissie then?" Buffy's eyes narrowed, giving Spike a dangerous glare. "Oh, I know! Why don't you try something new. How about… ah yes, a moody hair-flip then walk away silently leaving your nonexistent, stinging words to eat away at my soul. Then you can swing your hips the way you when you know someone's watching, just to make your ass look attractive--Some silent ploy to make me sad that I no longer rule over that ass. Oh but you and I both know secretly, but we wont tell the other, I still own that ass. Own it, I do. I can have it whenever I choose, I just let you think it's yours for the moment."

Buffy had no earthly idea what to say to that, only the thought of how creepy and kinky that just sounded was… as we'll say again, creepy. She stepped back from Spike, and continued looking from him to the door, finally making a decision to leave without slapping him as was required of etiquette. She turned about, and just before hurrying out she felt a hand slide across that certain body part previously discussed. "Pet…" was all he whispered, as Buffy shuddered and left hurriedly.

She knew where she would go now. Although she admitted to herself that Spike gave her more of that 'fluttery nervous' kind of feeling, as where Angel gave her that 'solemn' kind of feeling. Yet she had thought that spike was wrong about one thing. She believed that she belonged to Angel. She would go to him, just to prove it to herself. To prove that he was the one that she truly belonged with.


	13. Confused again

Ok, maybe this story has drug itself out to be longer than I expected, but I still hope that all of you who are reading it are enjoying it, because I am having the greatest time writing it. Well please review, and have a nice day!

Disclaimer: I own none of Buffy the vampire slayer... yet...

**Buffy The Vampire Slayer **

Have you ever had the feeling, that feeling of uncertainty. Like you knew you had to make one decision, but you didn't quite know if it was truly the right decision. Caught in the middle of two totally different worlds that seem to be colliding over you. Covering you with confusion, guilt, and sadness. It is almost impossible to understand what Buffy was feeling at that moment if you are not one of those people. Buffy was being torn, torn over a choice that could very well mean how her future goes, and her life in general. Although this she could tell was just going to be one of those confusing days, where she has to balance the safety of the world, her love life, and school all on her shoulders.

Buffy stood outside of Angel's apartment, she was wondering whether or not she should go in. She didn't know how he would react to her, and it kind of scared her to even think about it. She looked back on what had happened, and wondered why he pretended to be his 'evil' self. That most likely made her trust him even less then. She took in a deep breath and pushed the door open stepping into the small apartment. "Angel…" she called through the room, it bothered her that Angel wasn't answering her, another thing that bothered her is the fact that she could still feel where Spikes hand had pressed against her bum in that calm manner, as if he owned it, or her for that matter. But we shall get into that later…

Buffy moved through the apartment, "Angel… are you here?" Finally after another minute or so of calling for him, Angel stepped out, "Buffy…" Buffy looked at him a smile taking place upon her lips, "Angel, I-" Angel had cut her off, which in her book seemed a bit rude. Spike never cut her off, well maybe on occasion, but that is besides the point. Angel spoke in an icy tone that could most likely freeze hell over, "Spike… I smell him on you… y-you reek of him…" Angel didn't like Spikes scent. He always smelled of alcohol and cigarettes. The smell was completely putrid.

Buffy looked down her smile fading, "yeah… the whole vampire smelling thing… has anyone ever told you how weird that is?" She looked up hoping to see a humored Angel, but none was to be found. Angel turned his back to Buffy and said in his still rather cold voice, "Buffy… Do you love Spike?" This was one question that Buffy was unsure she could answer. They were wanting answers so quickly, and they were pressing her. She just wanted to be alone in her confusion, unless there was someone who could help her. But she couldn't think up any names at the time. She was frozen, frozen in the very moment that she had begun her reply to his oh so direct questions, "I-I…"

Spike was sitting backwards in one of his many discarded chairs laying about, one he had specifically chosen to turn right-side up for this. His arms were folded across the chair's back, chin resting on those arms. He was looking at some shimmery thing on the dresser in front of him. It was perfectly round and held a silver hue. It was the Orb, as Giles had explained earlier that was the keeper of the memories. Different pictures were fuzzed and faded in the background; Strangers and important events in their lives, the things that held their essence together--knowing who they were and who they… loved. Then those very things brought back to keep confined within the thin layer of glass and magic that made up the Orb's boundaries. But the only pictures that were clear to Spike were those of Buffy's memories. A voice drifted across his mind, all so familiar and one he had on mind so much recently.

"How does it feel to be the loser? You lose me… then you lose the fight… what else do you want to lose while you're at it?" Buffy…. To that statement he had made such a calm response, as if it had been the most natural response in the world. "Well pet, they way I see it… I haven't lost you… or this fight, and I certainly do not plan to lose either of the two…" But as far as Spike could reason, that was just him throwing the slayer off balance as usual. Counteract her words. And most of all, never give up, no matter how cornball or crazy-minded it might get to get him what he wanted. But it seemed that his words had held a hand of power. It must have made an affect in Buffy's mind, he remembered it as vividly as some of the memories floating before him in the Orb. Her face, of some kind of realization had dawned on her. Willow and Xander walked across the face of the Orb. They looked troubled. Red looked rather embarrassed. Spike prodded the soft layer of cloud that surrounded the glass, and it swirled briefly before choosing some other scene. He held his tongue between bared teeth. Angel. Kissing. Buffy. He had the screaming urge to prod the Orb again to change the scene, but continued to unwillingly torture himself with the offending material. It played over in his mind as he watched Buffy and the other vampire, their bodies entwined, her face playing with content happiness. 'How does it feel to be the loser?' He was moving his lips in the oddest of ways, Spike was. He almost looked like a fish, willing himself to be the on the receiving end of the impromptu action. 'You lose me… then you lose the fight… what else do you want to lose while you're at it?' Lost…. By now he most surely had lost her… unless the question still stood… Was she ever his to lose? Ownership, a funny thing. What was true of it was, though, there was an extremely thin line between theft and belonging.

Though Spike might have felt more confident about how he had handled her earlier if he knew that his words about ownership had affected Buffy just as much as hers had him. Buffy still felt trapped, though. Knowing about Spike's discovery of his contemplative side still wouldn't get her away from the question now posed. Angel stared intently at Buffy, who was frozen, searching her desperately for some answer; like someone trying to read a book with impossibly small print. He ended this soon enough, seeing as he couldn't tell anything from her paralyzed form. "Buffy?" He snapped, louder than before, and Buffy was jolted back to reality. Her eyes darted around for some escape, and landed on her wrist watch.

"God, I can't believe how late it's gotten. Sorry I couldn't stay." She turned to leave when Angel shot out a hand and gripped her arm. "Buffy." His face was shadowed. "Answer the question. Do you.. love Spike?" Buffy blurted out the first answer that came to mind without _directly_ answering. "What do you think?" She mirrored his coldness, or tried to. It now sounded preposterous to even think that she had a thing for Spike. Emphasis on 'sounded'. She absent-mindedly rubbed the area on her posterior where Spike had touched her, as if trying to wipe what had happened away. Angel let go of her arm at this response, but narrowed his eyes. "What kind of answer is-" Buffy cut him off, suddenly feeling rather angry. "Where do you go off playing detective all of a sudden? Interrogation now part of the whole vampire beat? It wasn't one day ago you were playing Dr. Evil, scaring me out of my sanity!" All Angel could utter was an incredulous "What?"

Buffy stood taller. "Chaining me to a bed, making me think you were my enemy by snarling and baring your fangs! Had it ever occurred to you that I just might had been saved sooner had you treated me like a friend instead of a killer? No, I think having Spike swoop in and save me from the big scary kidnapper--that totally took it for me. If it wasn't for that spell Willow learned-"

"Willow? WILLOW?" Angel breathed out heavily from his nostrils. "I saved you! You should be grateful, I was the one who distracted Spike!" Buffy narrowed her eyes, following suit. "You have no idea how alike you and Spike really are, do you?" A look of offense crossed Angel's features, surprise, rage. He mouthed the word 'alike?' silently, with utmost disbelief. "No plans, running about with my heart! Treating me as a trophy… treating my safety as if I was a rag doll! Doesn't matter what happened 'long the way, Buff, as long as I'm the one that got you in the end! Idiots!" She threw her hands up into the air, as if defeated, then turned on her heel and left the apartment abruptly. Angel watched her leave with a slight rage burning in his eyes as he lay on his bed, "heh… if she wants to see how Spike and I are alike… that is exactly what she'll get…"

Buffy stormed down the sidewalk tears brimming her eyes as she thought of where she could go. She knew she didn't want to go crawling back to Angel. She couldn't go and burden her friends anymore than she has already. There was only one place that she could go where she could feel safe, and not have her heart shattered into a million pieces. She turned a corner quickly heading towards Spike's house, hoping he would still let her come in. She knew that somehow she had to make a decision on who she is to be with, but she wondered why it couldn't be a tad bit easier. She walked into his house, she wondered through the living room, and stood at the edge of the stairs leading down to the bedroom. She thought back to what Spike had said earlier… 'I still own that ass. Own it, I do. I can have it whenever I choose, I just let you think it's yours for the moment.' She sat down on the first step as the tears finally came. She drew her knees to her chest and lay her head on her knees, she rocked back and forth all the time whispering between sniffles, "What do I do?… I-I c-can't choose both…"

She looked up as a cold hand touched her shoulder. She looks back to see the vampire we all know and love… Spike. He walks around and sits beside her putting and arm around her shoulder and whispering to her in a calm, soothing manner, "The one you choose… should be the one who cares the most…" She looked at him one last tear falling down her cheek. Spike reached up and wiped her tear away caressing her cheek with his finger tips, "how bout we settle this tonight luv…" Buffy gave a faint nod to him as she lay her head on his shoulder. It is amazing how the day changes so quickly. At first you start out fighting someone, then next thing you know, they have turned into the one that is comforting you in your time of need. It was something that Buffy would have to get use to, in the mean time she had a big decision to make.

Angel thought for a second. He knew what he needed to do, and he was going to do what he was there to do in the first place. He would have to trick them into taking his soul away first, and that could get awfully tricky. Considering once he was evil they wouldn't trust him to stay inactive long enough to get his soul back once the job was done. His eyes narrowed as he glared at the ceiling, he knew what he must do, and that was put Spike out of his misery. Make it to where Buffy has no choice but to come to him, when she hears that Spike was mysteriously killed by an unknown demon. He grinned lightly at how good it felt. The pleasure he would take out of seeing her face when she heard. The true Angelus was rearing his ugly head, and Buffy would get to see exactly how much he and Spike are alike. Angel of coarse knew that Buffy wouldn't like it.

Spike stood helping Buffy up. He looked at her with questioning eyes as he asked, "So, pet, what are you doing back here?" he paused for a moment letting out a small sigh, "come to 'kick every square inch of my body' again, but end up having a break down. Or did tall, dark, and forehead do something to make you upset…" Buffy sighed and looked up to him, then she made her way towards the living room as she said, "Angel… asked me if I loved you…" She turned to look at him once more as she reached the arm chair, seeing a look of complete and utter surprise cross his face, only to immediately replaced by the calm exterior look. He walked up to her and stood next to her turning her towards him, "…and what did you say pet?" Buffy gazed into his eyes as she told him her answer, "I told him…"


	14. Love, Death, and Comfort

Wow... finally I get to chapter 14, well I hope you get surprised by the ending of this chapter... I almost cried writing it, butdon't tell anyone. Well I hope you enjoy, and if there are any comments you have, just review please.

Disclaimer: I don't own Buffy the vampire slayer, although I wish I did.

**Buffy The Vampire Slayer**

Sometimes we look to hard to find someone to keep us company, we look for that physical comfort that we miss so much… that inner feeling of just wanting to be held and talked to in soothing words. That feeling that we are not alone that can often be very, very dangerous, the one that makes us crave affection, that makes us something we are not meant to be. This longing feeling will turn you into a demon of sorts, not just because you are seeking it out, but because of what you might do while seeking it out.

Angel crossed to the other side of the apartment and opened a small chest, just as he reached into it he had a thought that maybe he was going at this all wrong. He was beginning to think that losing his soul would be the wrong way to go, the fact that it would most likely drive Buffy further away from him rather than closer. He shook the thoughts out of his head and new thoughts formed, thoughts like 'If I can't be happy with Buffy… then I might as well be happy without a soul…' He took a deep breath and pulled out a ring. It was a silver ring much like the one he gave Buffy. He took a long hard look at it and threw it to the floor watching it land with a light thud.

It was time that Angel take matters into his own hands. He had lost Buffy once, and he didn't want to lose her again. He could barely stand to see her with spike, that created a small hole in his heart that he felt only Buffy could heal. But now… the hole has gotten bigger, and fulfilling it will take a lot more effort that just a kidnapping scheme. It is hard to think of Angel acting this way, hard to think of him as the violence seeking type, but the harsh reality is… love has those effects on people, so why not a vampire? Love works its wonders, but how it works, we are lucky if we are not destroyed by it.

Spike looked at Buffy with expectant eyes eager to hear her response. He sure hoped that she had told tall, dark, and forehead that she was in love with him. He would have love to see Angel's face if that was what she had told him, the look of dissatisfaction, regret, and sorrow. Oh what a joy that would have been for Spike. Buffy looked up to Spike and sat down, " I think I… told him I was unsure…" of coarse this threw Spike's fantasy right out the window, but he tried not to look disappointed as he replied in his still calm tone, "Buffy…" Buffy stood again as if unable to decide whether or not she wanted to sit down, she looked off away from Spike focusing on a weapon rack as she said in a kind of weak tone, "I came back because…" in a softer tone she continues, "I just need someone to hold me…" Spike tilted his head lightly and walked over to her, he sat in the arm chair and pulled Buffy into his lap. He wrapped his arms around her as she lay her head against his shoulder. They sat there for a moment in the silence. Buffy loved the feeling of being in spike's arms, she felt warm, and safe, and most of all loved.

Spike couldn't help but wonder what he was doing. He knew that in his plan he was not supposed to fall in love with the slayer, if only she weren't so dang irresistible. Spike thought he now knew what Angel saw in her, why Angel was so eager to get her back. He stroked her hair lightly and whispered, "I am here to hold you pet…" Buffy sniffled lightly taking in the moment. She didn't want to lose this feeling she had, the kind of feeling you have when you have a really good burrito, and you want to savor the taste for as long as you can, only it wasn't exactly like that. Spike rubbed his hand up her shoulder and continued in a soft whisper, "don't worry pet…" Buffy looked up turning to Spike, she kissed him lightly closing her eyes, he kissed her back then broke away, "No Buffy…" Buffy almost looked hurt, but she held it back as Spike continued, "you can't expect this to happen when you can't even tell Angel if you love me or not…" Buffy hung her head as she nodded lightly, she had expected this to happen. If only she weren't scared to tell Angel about it.

She didn't feel that Angel wasn't the Angel she knew anymore. He had changed since the whole thing started, and she didn't like it. The only one that remain consistent to her was Spike, hard to believe, but she thought that she loved him, and she was beginning to find this out. But the only thing she was starting to regret was how she had to find out. Having to basically hurt Angel in the process wasn't exactly something that she wanted to do. She had felt guilty about it, but now she knew that she would have to Angel about her feelings one way or another, the only thing she had to figure out now was how to get Angel to listen to her. She would be surprised if he would even look at her after their little 'confrontation' that day. She drew in a deep collective breath, "ok… but come with me…"

Spike's eyes widened at her request. He hadn't expected her to want to go right away to tell him, but he was glad she had decided to tell him, and not keep coming back because her little lover boy was jealous. He stood up a smirk playing across his lips, "ok, pet… if you wish." He places his arm around her waist as they walk towards the door of the apartment and walk out it. Spike shook his head, he had diverted from his original plans, but if he could, he knew he would still get Buffy. He felt as if she were his, after all she had been with him for about a week with her memories erased, and even after that she still comes back to him over Angel. To him there was something wrong with this picture, he wasn't quite understanding. He thought all this time that she was in love with Angel, and she wouldn't give him the time of day… well except for a good fight that is. Although Spike was not going to question this, everything was perfect for him right now, she hates Angel and loves him, yep things just couldn't be any better on his part. But he knew, he could just feel that after she was with him… Buffy would be much happier. Why should she want to be with a vampire that can't even 'make a happy' without losing his soul, she deserved the vampire that could give her what she wants, what she needs, and what she desires. Spike was longing to fill Buffy's empty space.

Angel sniffed at the air, he got a good whiff of Spike and Buffy. He knew they were probably headed there, and he figured he should be ready. He brought out the orb of Thessela that gave him his soul back. He looked at it quietly then smashed it against the wall in an angry rage. A blue light surrounded Angel as he yelled in pain, but as the blue light receded he stood an evil look adorning his expressions. He walked out the door figuring the least he could do for Buffy and Spike before he killed them was meet them in the middle. Angel had made his transformation, and what had he done it for? Love's sake? Or was if just his own selfish desires for Buffy that drove him off the deep end of the pool? I doubt that we could prove for sure what was going on with Angel, but I do know something. A broken love is nothing to be messed with, once you lose that love, it is almost impossible to regain it. So maybe Angel is just resorting to last measures, or maybe his love for Buffy Summers has driven him to make the biggest mistake of his vampire 'life.'

Angelus walked out of the building and into the night, it was time. He grinned as he walked thinking of all the possible ways to torture now-a-days. He had many ideas, and he should love to use them all, but then again there is that problem where they die before you can get to the last idea. Well, he would just have to make them last. As he got further down the sidewalk they came into view, he could see Spike's hand around her waist, that almost had him disgusted. As he finally came within speaking distance of them he said in his sexy, evil voice, "Hello lover…" he stood leisurely in front of them in order to keep them from running anywhere as he looked over them, his eyes scanning every aspect of the situation. Angelus began speaking as he took a step towards Spike, "What happened Spike… I was your sire, your yoda… remember?"

This nearly made Spike laugh, but he held his calm demeanor as he glared at Angelus and said through clenched teeth, "Things change… remember Angelus?" Angelus snickered lightly shaking his head as he said, "I see, well then you wont mind dieing tonight…" Spike held Buffy a little closer as Angelus stepped forward, as he thought something were going to happen to her. Buffy's eyes grew wide as he advanced, this wasn't the Angel she had seen earlier, and this definitely wasn't the Angel she had fallen in love with, and she didn't like it one bit. She couldn't see his soul in his eyes anymore, all she could see… was a lust to kill. Buffy had finally spoken up, "Angel… why are you doing this? What's gotten into you?"

Angelus stepped over her way, he pulled her out of Spike's arm reach leaving him to stand there and bask in his rage. Angelus pulled Buffy close as he leaned over her, his face next to hers as he whispered in her ear, "I made myself free…" Buffy stumbled away her eyes still wide, but most of her expressions were blank, almost as if not knowing what to think as she mouthed the word 'no…' into the frigid night air. Angelus laughed and turned to Spike, "It looks like you've won the girl, but at least I am free…" Spike punched Angelus violently in the stomach making him stumble backwards. Angelus's hand went to his stomach as he glared at Spike as he took his ground once more, and he stepped forward and kicked Spike in the stomach.

Buffy watched in horror, she couldn't just let them fight to the death. She had to do something, so she thought, 'I've lost Angel once… and dealt… I can do it again.' She stood and looked around them noticing a picket fence. She ran to it and ripped a wooden piece away. She held it in her right hand, and watched Spike and Angel still fighting. She took in a deep breath, a bit unsure of doing this, especially to a man she once loved. But she also knew that she didn't have much time, she couldn't risk Angel hurting any of her friends, or even hurting Spike. She released her breath and took a step forward.

Spike noticed Buffy standing over them, then his eyes traveled to the wooden fence part. Spike rolled Angelus over onto his back and pinned him down, he then yelled for Buffy, "Buffy, come… hurry…" Angelus was struggling under Spike, but his struggling was soon to be to no avail. Buffy loomed over Angelus the steak held high, she jammed it through his heart tears traveling down her cheeks at what she had done, although she knew it to be for the best. Angelus looked at her with soft eyes and mumbled with his last breath, "Goodbye… lover…" With that his dust lay on the sidewalk scattered over the pavement. Buffy sunk to her knees tossing the steak to the ground putting her face in her hands. She had done it, she had killed Angel, but something inside her wanted to scream.

Spike crawled up beside her and took off his coat putting it over her back, he then put his am around her shoulders pulling her to his side. He stroked her hair with his other hand. He knew that that had to have been one of the hardest things she had ever done, but the hardest thing for him to grasp in his mind, is why she did it for him. He could tell it hurt her a good bit, but she knew as well as he did that she had to do it. He figured one day… marriage might come into their lives, but for now… he had to work to fill the giant hole in Buffy's heart that Angel left with her, and that wasn't going to be an easy job for him. He brought her head to his shoulder and whispered into her ear lightly and solemnly as to fit the mood, "I love you pet…"

Buffy clinged to him her arms wrapped around him tightly, and for one she finally responded with, "I-I l-love you too.." Spike tried to smile, but he found he couldn't while Buffy was like this. He rubbed her back lightly as she cried into his shoulder, her soft sobs carrying into the empty night.

In the end we find someone that is able to fill our holes in our hearts, but the truth is… no one can measure up to the first true love. The could do anything, but that first person would always have a piece of you that no one else could have. Truthfully speaking, a lot of people just look for that physical affection to fill the hole, but it is so much more than that. The hole in your heart can not be mended by physical affection, but by love its self.


End file.
